How to Keep Creating When Your Life Feels Like It’s Falling Apart

Writing is often a deeply personal act. Even when we’re crafting fantastical worlds or delving into characters far removed from ourselves, our emotions, our experiences, and our relationships inevitably seep into the words. So what happens when your personal life is in turmoil? When friendships crack, family ties strain, relationships crumble, or the weight of loneliness presses too heavily? How do you keep writing when it feels like your world is falling apart?

I won’t pretend there’s an easy answer. Some days, there won’t be one at all. But if writing is a part of who you are, then the words are still inside you—even when it feels impossible to reach them. This post is about navigating the storm, finding the words in the wreckage, and making space for your creativity even when everything else feels broken.

The Many Ways Life Can Interrupt Writing

Before diving into solutions, let’s acknowledge the many ways interpersonal relationships affect our writing life. It’s not just about breakups or grief; it’s about the daily emotional labor we carry, the subtle and overt ways relationships shape our ability to create.

1. Romantic Upheaval

A breakup, an unhealthy relationship, an unrequited love—all of these can either fuel or drain your creative energy. Some writers find heartbreak to be an abundant well of inspiration, while others feel paralyzed by it. Love is an intimate part of being human, and its loss or strain can make storytelling—especially stories that touch on romance or connection—painful.

2. Friendship Fractures

Losing a friend, whether through conflict, distance, or slow-growing indifference, can feel like losing a part of yourself. Friendships, especially close ones, provide emotional grounding. When that’s shaken, it can be hard to focus on imaginary worlds when your real one feels so unstable.

3. Family Tensions

Whether it’s unsupportive relatives, painful childhood wounds resurfacing, or the crushing weight of familial expectations, family dynamics have a way of creeping into everything—including our writing. If the people who should love and support you are causing you distress, it can be hard to create.

4. Loneliness and Isolation

Sometimes, the absence of relationships can be just as heavy as their presence. Writing is often a solitary act, but there’s a difference between solitude and loneliness. If you feel disconnected from the world, writing may either be your escape or something that reminds you of what’s missing.

5. Creative Relationships Turning Sour

Writing communities, critique partners, or even collaborations can become sources of stress. If you’re in an environment that stifles rather than supports you, it’s natural to feel lost in your craft.

How to Keep Writing (or At Least, How to Start Again)

So, if life is chaotic and your relationships feel like shifting sand, how do you keep writing? Here are some things that have helped me and others I know.

1. Allow Yourself to Write Through the Pain (or Not Write at All)

Writing can be a form of catharsis, but it can also be retraumatizing if you force it too soon. If your heartache wants to spill onto the page, let it. If your words retreat, don’t chase them with guilt. You are not failing as a writer just because you need to pause and heal.

2. Change What You Write

If your current project feels too emotionally overwhelming, try something different. Switch genres, start a low-stakes side project, or experiment with poetry, journaling, or letter-writing. Sometimes, creativity needs to flow in a different form before it can return to its usual course.

3. Find Comfort in Routine (Even a Small One)

When life feels out of control, small rituals can anchor us. Maybe it’s writing for just five minutes in the morning with your coffee. Maybe it’s keeping a notebook beside your bed for late-night thoughts. Find one small habit that feels doable, and let that be enough.

4. Use Writing as a Safe Space

If the world around you is painful, let your writing be the place where you are in control. Build worlds where you feel safe, write characters who understand you, explore emotions that feel too difficult to process in real life. Writing can be an escape—but also a reclamation of power.

5. Seek (Healthy) Connection

If you’ve lost a connection in your life, don’t let that loss define all relationships. Reach out to a fellow writer, join an online writing group, or simply talk to a trusted friend about your struggles. Creativity doesn’t always thrive in isolation. Let people in, even if it’s just a little.

6. Forgive Yourself for Changing

If the pain you’re experiencing shifts how you write, what you write, or how often you write—that’s okay. You are not the same person you were before the hardship, and your writing will not be the same either. That’s not failure; that’s growth.

7. Know That the Words Will Come Back

Even if you stop writing for a while, even if you step away completely, your words will not abandon you. Creativity is not a finite resource. It’s a river that sometimes runs dry, but it will rain again. Be patient with yourself.

A Final Thought: You Are Not Alone

Writing through personal turmoil is one of the hardest things a writer can face, but you don’t have to do it alone. The stories inside you matter, even if they take time to emerge. The heartbreak you feel will not last forever, even if it feels endless now. You will write again. And when you do, you’ll bring with you the resilience, the depth, and the raw honesty that only lived experience can offer.

Until then, take care of yourself. The stories can wait. You are what matters most.

Until next time,

Oregon J. Sinclair